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10 Ways To Know You’re Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

Culture

10 Ways To Know You’re Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

Pothead Newbie

Teaching your friend the ropes when it comes to smoking is enjoyable, but also incredibly awkward. You are the sensei, and they are the pot head newbie that doesn’t understand what they’re getting themselves into. Teacher, you can understand these precious, yet uncomfy moments.

1. The Coughing, So Much Coughing

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

Their first inhale will create a gagging effect, which you can’t help but laugh at. You also know they bouts to get high AF, and you might not be ready for it.

2. They Inevitably Will Burn The Shit Out Of Your Weed

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

Those newbies are always the first ones to burn directly in the middle of the bowl pack. Precious first timer, please stop ruining the weed.

3. “Can You Light This For Me?”

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

This question makes you glow with pride seeing as how you’re the weed expert in this situation. Of course, you’re about to show off your wrist flick.

4. You Watch Them Smoke Way Too Much

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

You can just sit back and watch as they try to impress you with one too many hits. We recommend just blindly to stare at them until it all hits at once. *Face Palm*

5. They Might Not Even Get High, And It’s YOUR FAULT

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

They look at you and wonder, “why isn’t anything happening?” For some first time smokers, cannabis doesn’t have first time effects because their mind can’t compute what the altered state is. You just have to convince the newbie to try try try again.

6. OR They Might Get Paranoid AF

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

First-time smokers also have a more likely chance of getting paranoid because of the intense rush of THC to the brain. You get to either watch their paranoia with delight or be the good guy and calm them down. Both worth a story.

7. When They’re Giving You The Sexy Eye And The Ole Leg Grab

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

Cannabis triggers the release of dopamine which can give off feelings of euphoria and the sense of pleasure. This means that the person you’re smoking with might try to jump your bones, so pick the first timer wisely.

8. The Newbie Will Give You Up For Some Munchies

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

The munchies will be so intense with the newbie pot head that they’ll just cast you off for Doritos or Oreos. Don’t let it hurt your ego, you know Oreos are better than sex anyways.

9. All You Wanted To Do Was Smoke, But They Literally Will Not Shut Up

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead NewbieThey’re gonna want to talk about ISIS. They’re gonna want to talk about the universe. You’ve opened up their entire cerebral state of thinking, and they won’t stop. You just thought you were gonna smoke and watch some Bob’s Burgers. You were the wrong friend.

10. Finally, The Precious First Timer Falls Asleep On The Couch

10 Ways To Know You're Dealing With a Pothead Newbie

You’ve shown them the cannabis ropes, and they’re exhausted from their adventure. You can now proudly sit in the chair and watch TV high like you were planning on doing the entire time. Awkward, yes. Worth it, most definitely.

Missy Amato

Missy is a Green Rush Daily writer hailing from Jamaica, Queens. She’s a slam poet, writer, and cannabis enthusiast/connoisseur.

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