Words, words, words, as Shakespeare once wrote. So many words in the universe—and funny enough, the idea applies to slang for weed. Want to spice up your vocabulary? Or maybe a new way to low-key pay someone back for your chronic via Venmo? Here are the 10 best slang terms for cannabis, according to a scientific study conducted by us. (And by “scientific study,” we mean “our opinion.”)
You kids and your new words. Used to describe super dank weed with such a strong aroma that it creates an anesthetic effect, “loud weed” is a phrase rising in popularity amongst the younger set. A new way to say “high quality” as one of the 10 best slang terms for cannabis? We don’t hate it.
Hailing from the Land Down Under, “yandi” is what Australians typically call weed when they’re referring to the plant, not necessarily smokeable herb. (For those of you who want a “weed” equivalent, “hooter” is supposedly an authentic nomer.)
8. Electric Puha
Yet another entry from the lovely region of Oceania, the term “electric puha” originates from New Zealand. What does it mean? Puha is Maori for a breed of dandelion used in cooking. AKA, a weed. Those clever Kiwis and their cannabis sticks.
According to Urban Dictionary, the word “choko” is the Japanese equivalent of “ganja,” but it also contains multiple meanings. And by “multiple” meanings, we mean insulting ones—for humans, not cannabis. Besides the fact that the word choko is actually a vine vegetable that grows in Australia, according to the esteemed source Urban Dictionary, it’s also a way to call someone’s intelligence into question. As in describing a person “so dumb he couldn’t grow a choko vine over a shithouse.” Yeah, that’s an actual quote. #Bless the slang of the Internet.
As much as we all wish this bit of slang had something to do with Harry Potter, not all of our dreams can come true. Apparently, it has two meanings that have nothing to do with Hogwarts (or lack thereof). According to TIME, “muggle” is short for “muggle-head,” a word used to describe a stoner in the 1920s. And the other definition? A strain of hemp from Mexico. You’d think J.K. Rowling would have known better…or did she?
The fourth entry for our best slang terms for cannabis is used to describe low-grade pot that’s sold for a high-grade price, it’s an efficient way of calling out some rip-off product. Wonder if they’ll think of re-naming this after another president? Hmm…
3. Alligator Cigarette
There is something about “alligator cigarette” that sounds classy AF. Can’t you just picture Katharine Hepburn wearing her trademark trousers, lounging on a chaise, holding a whiskey neat, and murmuring “alligator cigarette” while smoking…well, an alligator cigarette? Even if the name supposedly just describes the shape of the doob, say it with me now. Alligator cigarette.
Right, technically it’s a slang term for a joint, and not cannabis, but we’ll make an exception.
2. Bubonic Chronic
If you haven’t brushed up on your science lately, the “bubonic” in “bubonic chronic” alludes to bubonic plague. This illness, commonly referred to as the Black Plague in history circles, was an epidemic that wiped out roughly a third of the population in Europe during the 14th century. Yes, it was definitely a killer…which, of course, lends itself to some old school Cockney slanging schemes. Bubonic chronic—killer weed. Get it?
But really, there’s nothing like a great rhyme, is there?
What can we say about this precious, precious word that it doesn’t already say for itself? Isn’t it obviously the creme de la creme when it comes to the best slang terms for cannabis? Don’t you sort of just feel stoned by merely reading it? What is life again?
According to certain herb-centric forums, wazzgiblets—along with the excellent entries “splashbag” and “spankdust”—are words somewhat commonly used in parts of the United Kingdom. Again, it’s a forum, so take that for what you will. At the same time, we need to call weed “wazzgiblets” more often. Can we do that now, please?