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Ivanka Trump Starts Hemp Clothing Business Despite Administration Outcry

Ivanka Trump Starts Hemp Clothing Business Despite Administration Outcry

Satire

Ivanka Trump Starts Hemp Clothing Business Despite Administration Outcry

Ivanka Trump Markets New Clothing Line In Trump Tower Lobby Kiosk

Earlier this week, Ivanka Trump publicly announced her newest fashion line. Moving away from overpriced jewelry, Ivanka Trump decided to go for a more affordable and eco-friendly clothing line.

A SoHo runway show featured Ms. Trump’s new designs under the title 50 Shades of Green, an all-natural, all hemp production of brassieres, panties, chokers, belts, and of course, a feature of men’s jeans.

“Everybody needs a little herb to spice up their life,” Ivanka Trump said in an exclusive interview.

Ivanka Trump’s publicist spoke earlier today, “She was warned against using her father’s presidency as a marketing tool. I think this is her best solution.”

What Will This Mean for the Average American?

Ivanka Trump Starts Hemp Clothing Business Despite Administration Outcry

One protestor outside of the White House commented on the clothing line. “What’s going to happen to the jobs of the men who spread the chemical fertilizers or, what are they called? What’s going to happen to them, they probably have families and now they have no job, nothing. It’s wrong.”

Another onlooker seemed pleased with the liberal direction Ivanka Trump is taking her company.

“It must be the Kushner influence,” he said. “Steve Bannon called him a Democrat, I heard.”

In a press release, President Donald Trump gave a statement:

“She was advised against the use of the marijuana leaf. We told her, I remember, we had chocolate cake, the most beautiful chocolate cake, and I told her, Ivanka, honey…you know she’s my daughter – she’s my daughter! – she’s beautiful, look at her, the most gorgeous. Just look.”

“Where was I? I said, Ivanka, don’t do this. Don’t. But look, she’s a strong headed, beautiful woman, because she’s my daughter, and she will do what she wants. And bonus, women will look like 10s in her clothes.”

The Republican Party advised the President to speak no further on the matter.

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Chala Giron

Chala Giron is a poet and writer currently residing in England. She spends her free weekends traveling and writing. Her work has appeared in Tidal Echoes Literary Journal and on the Juneau Public buses.

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