Satire
Mike Pence Admits to Smoking Weed Before Sex
In a leaked audio phone call between Vice President Mike Pence and President Donald Trump, Pence admits to smoking weed before sex. The date of this call reveals the conversation occurred pre-election in September 2016.
In the recording, Pence describes his night with another woman during their campaign rally in Miami, FL. A shocking discovery coming off his comments about extramarital dining.
“It was her idea,” Pence said in the recording. “But it was a good idea.”
Pence makes a reference to Sexxpot, a strain that carries a THC level of 14% and acts as an aphrodisiac. Many women have endorsed this drug saying it intensifies orgasms.
Later in the audio, he said, “I’d do it again, definitely. I’d like to try it with my wife, but we know how that will go.”
Attempts to keep the phone call confidential have proven futile. The conservative majority worked tirelessly to retract the leaked recording.
Is Mike Pence a Trustworthy Man?
Public outcry from the Evangelical right called for the removal of Mike Pence. One woman, who identifies with the Republican party commented, “Everyone has a past. What matters is the good is doing for America right now.”
Another bystander said, “We can’t trust him anymore. Who’s to say he’s not doing it while in office and running our country?”
The tape unearthed many questions about who our Vice President Mike Pence is. Furthermore, Pence has shied from making any statement about the leaked recording.
His only comment, “We have bigger things to worry about in saving our country right now.”
President Trump was asked to comment on his VP’s character in a press conference at the White House. “Fake news,” President Trump said. “It’s not us. Pence is the best man I know. The media will do anything to bring us down. But we will fight, and we will make America great again.”
Voice experts at American University identified the voices in the phone call as Mike Pence and Donald Trump. The Federal Bureau of Investigations now has possession of the tape and will investigate further into the scandal. The cause of the leak remains unknown.
