A guide on vaping weed
There are so many options for how to smoke weed, it’s basically a science now. The list of ways to bubble, bong, pipe and vape dank into your system is so extensive as to be distracting. And the last thing a stoner needs is another distraction. But for classy rounds of social burning, there’s the Arizer Extreme Q vaporizer, a party-friendly, tasteful way to get everyone Empire State Building lit. This is how you really should be vaping weed.
Seasoned potheads don’t complicate things. We tend to find a routine we like and stick to it. Or we light up according to the occasion. The bong is for a movie night couch vortex, the bowl for quick tokes before long walks, a joint for sharing with friends, or maybe a blunt with a bud bestie.
Although the Q’s a tabletop vaporizer, don’t make it a still life centerpiece. That’s fucking boring and limited. A perfect pot party, complete with stoner games, is bundled into the Extreme Q and it deserves to be treated like your one cousin who makes parties unpredictable: with 911 on speed dial.
Off the top, a lot of first-time vape enthusiasts mistake this weed microwave for a regular work-a-day bong: something to be left aside for quick use. Not so. While a vaporizer like the Extreme Q is powerful enough to heat herb to 400 degrees per smooth puff, firing it up every day would weaken its warming unit and power adapter, like any other kitchen appliance. The goal is to avoid hazards like over-heating by using it in moderation for reeeeaaally cool shit.
Even the product description hints that it’s meant to be a fancy air freshener (great tip on how to infuse your room with lovely aromas later), but the temptation, of course, is to mix it into the rotation. Instead, here are three key steps to getting the whole squad toasted while vaping weed.
THESE BAGS ARE YOUR NEW LUNGS. Welcome.
Assemble the Q by sliding the glass bowl’s tube into the top slot. (The bowl holds the bud and it will be obvious to you that the shit is some kind of goblet for holding marijuana.) Set up the Extreme Q Arizer by placing the volcanic cylinder base on a table, plugging it in, and pressing the power button. That starts the heating process. While this happens, grab the air bags that come with the kit and pass them out. Yes, bagS because each guest will need their new lungs for the next part.
Don’t pass it…like ever, ha.
Have your friends line up for their hits, one at a time, with a bag. The effect you want is everyone stoned simultaneously. So start the vaping weed train and let it run through airways from one person to the next without pausing.
Each time someone fits the bag to the flowing air valve, fill it up! No need to be shy. A bag full is two hits for even the most iron of lungs. This way everyone gets a Thanksgiving portion.
On to the next!
The next person should then put their bag on the valve as the previous person is inhaling. And then repeat the cycle. It will take about 4 people’s full bags to bake a gram of strong herb, and that’s a low estimate. Treat this herb blast like it’s circuit training, and don’t stop until every single person is sucking hopelessly from an airbag like an alien asthma prom.
Deodorize the room and chill tf out breh
Now here’s a Martha Stewart high-dea that comes free with your 200 dollar vaporizer: scents. At your local grocer, in the produce aisle, there are other herbs that people use to cook. They’re called ‘aromatics’ and chefs go wild with them to enhance the overall strength of a dish. You will use them to create a player lair like no other, infusing the entire area with a pleasant odor that masks the cannabis and reminds you of that great Febreze commercial.
Get some thyme, rosemary and lavender. If they’re not at the market, try a local flower shop or Home Depot. The fresher, the better. As your party guests disappear into their stupor, clear the air with the cut herbs mixed into a potpourri. Empty the glass bowl of any remaining pot crumbs, and refill with rosemary, then thyme, then lavender. Leave the fan from the vape on the entire time, but turn the heat down to about 300 degrees for the grocery store herbs. You want the heat to activate their oils and release their scents, not burn them like they’re for inhaling.
Go into a deep coma, induced by the effects of pure THC. Enter a dreamscape where you can be anything. Be a rock. For your family, too, yea. But truly become this rock if you want to, and lay in a cool creek. Let water rush over you for a second, dude, that shit is super calming I promise you, my G. You’re the best fucking rock right now, breh, and no one is gonna be a rock like you after you’ve vaped. You could honestly get an award for your rock qualities it’s insane how much you took this on. Good goddamn job, soldier!
Anyway, that’s all of it. This is how you really should be vaping weed, even though there are guides that will tell you otherwise. They’re wrong. This one is right.