One of the more relaxing experiences life offers is a crisp sunny morning on the golf course. A gentle breeze, a chilled brewski, and good company make for memorable times. Want to take your golf game up a notch? Here are 13 reasons why you should smoke weed while you golf.
13. You Can Drive A Golf Cart High
Where can you rip donuts in the middle of the day on a Tuesday? The golf course, that’s where. Feel like cutting up a little fairway en route to your next hole? You can do so freely without any inhibitions because you’re happily stoned on a golf course.
12. Golfing In The Zone
Remember what Cudi rapped about on “Ashin’ Kusher” pertaining to zonin’? Apply that to your golf game. Each step on the green will feel like walking on the moon. You’re in your own world, and when you tee up, you’ll feel like Tiger Woods.
Note: That’s early 2000’s Tiger Woods.
11. Increased Focus
Golfing with a bunch of Chatty Cathies? No need to tell them to shut up. Since you’re high, you have the magical ability to tune them the out. Simply focus on the birds chirping in the background, how good it feels to take a deep breath or the inner voice in your mind telling you the company you’re with doesn’t exist.
10. No Scorecard Handling
You’re high and officially exempt from keeping score because you’re stoned. No one will want your questionable math skills muddling the accuracy of the day’s match. So get high and be freed from carrying around that nagging card and pencil, which usually finds a way to pierce the inner lining of your pocket and draw on your thigh.
9. Finding Extra Balls Will Feel Like Winning The Lottery
Everyone likes finding treasure, no matter how large or small. Finding golf balls on the golf course is no exception. When you stumble upon your white circular gold while high, the euphoria of the discovery – combined with the satisfaction of knowing you can lose balls in the woods and still have extra plays – will help you relax, release tension in your shoulders and allow for a more fluid stroke.
8. Pressure Is Non-Existent
For a lot of folks, spending time on the golf course is therapeutic. For those who struggle communicating their emotions, the golf course is a sanctuary of peace, love, and understanding – allowing inner reflection without judgment. While stoned, the golf course becomes a gateway to Buddha himself – a direct pipeline to enlightenment. By connecting to the divine, you no longer have to worry about your performance because your game is in the hands of a higher power.
7. Performance Becomes Least Important
You can disassociate your gameplay from your tangible self because being high allows you to see yourself in different layers and dimensions. You can get spiritual. Those balls in the water hazard? Fate helping you avoid squashing the mosquitos living on the blades of grass your balls otherwise would have touched down upon.
6. Distracting Dance Moves
Is your opponent tearing up the course making you look silly each hole? Quiet your mind and listen for the tempo mother nature is providing you. A beat will for sure appear. Once located, channel your inner high and become one with the rhythm. Your stoned antics will provide the diversion tactic you deserve and throw your nemesis off his/her game, all while doing so in silence.
5. More Serene Environment
Smoking a joint on the golf course is peaceful, particularly in the evening when the sun hits magic hour. No matter the time of day, the feelings of relaxation exuded from being on a golf course will be magnified while you’re stoned.
4. Contact High
Being high accentuates the enjoyment of most physical activities. Golf is no exception. If you’ve ever connected the sweet spot of the club with a golf ball during your swing, you know it’s a euphoric experience. While high, joy from a sweet spot connection is magnified and will lead to instant arousal.
3. Every Swing Feels Amazing
Ever stand at the tee readying to launch your golf ball into infinity and beyond only to whiff? Remember feeling your face redden with embarrassment? Perhaps others in your party laughed at you or tossed a little shade your way. Not the case when you’re high. No matter if you connect or miss, the swing itself will feel delightful.
2. Guilt Free Off The Grid
If you’re not high and golfing, there’s a chance you may feel some sort of remorse. Perhaps you’re golfing instead of hanging with your significant other, instead of preparing for that big presentation or studying for that looming exam. When you’re high on the golf course, none of those distractions matter. You’re on the course, living in and enjoying the moment, not thinking about anything else.
1. Even If You Lose, You’re High
How much can you complain if you’re stoned on a beautiful day? So what if you five-putted the last hole. Big fucking deal. Maybe you lost by one stroke. Your world’s not ending, it’s just beginning. That’s assuming you had an early 5 AM tee time. Win or lose, your post golf meal will be amazing wherever you decide to grub.